Sorry if I've been a little quite recently, but I've been rather busy learning to become a tantric masseur.
So what is tantra and why was I drawn to it? To quote from the tantra4gaymen website
Tantra is the ultimate
fusion of your sexual energy and your spirituality. These create states of
bliss and ecstasy and in Buddhist and Hindu traditions are a path to your
enlightenment. Tantra delinates a multitude of esoteric beliefs and
practices within hinduism and buddhism which have a long standing tradition
reaching back to at least the 8th century. In its original meaning, Tantra is a
mystical pathway, an accumulation of practices that have in common extensive
use of ritual and of psycho-experiential techniques such as yoga,
visualisation, and meditation.
In its modern form,
Tantra has a slightly different meaning, referring to both new age and modern
western interpretations of traditional Tantra, brought forward by pioneers of
the so-called Neo-tantra since the 1970s. These teachings consider sex as a
sacred act which is capable of elevating its participants to a higher spiritual
plane. They all show how sexual energy can be transformed into ecstatic
experiences. To reach this aim, they offer a wide range of techniques,
containing elements originating from fields such as bodywork, breath work,
yoga, and meditation.
For years religions have taught us that sex is shameful,
that we should be ashamed of our naked bodies, and, even for those of us who no
longer practice any religion, these feelings of shame can be deep seated and so
entrenched that we find it hard to simply relax and enjoy one of life’s
greatest pleasures. This is harder still for gay men, who have probably had
ingrained in them from an early age the fact that sex between two men is wrong
and sinful. We often react by indulging in a series of casual encounters,
hurried and furtive, and ultimately unsatisfactory. Indeed, in my work as an
escort, I have come across any number of men who, once they have ejaculated,
can’t get away quick enough, their shame suddenly taking over from their
transient pleasure. They leave vowing that they will never have sex with a man
again, but they are back a week or so later and the pattern is repeated.
Jason, the lead tantra teacher of tantra4gaymen is
passionate in his quest to help men understand that they are ok as they are,
that they deserve love, deserve to be
sexual and spiritual beings without repression. I too would like to carry on
this work. Even in my escort work, I have always tried to provide a space where
my clients can relax and enjoy the sexual experience or play out some of their
fantasies without judgement or recrimination.
A couple of weeks ago I spent a couple of days filming some
instructional clips for Jason’s website, which will be live on the site some
time at the beginning of December. These are not cold “how to” clips, but
sensual and sensuous in their own right. We hope that you will be turned on as
well as informed, and that you will be inspired to try out some of these
techniques yourself. I hope it doesn’t sound too new age when I say it was two days spent in a warm and loving
environment, models and crew feeling entirely comfortable with one another, and
I think that we may have created something rather special.
I have also been working with Seb Cox, a big loveable bear
of a man, who has a slightly different approach (tantra is not an exact science
after all), but he too seeks to give men the opportunity to reclaim and
reawaken the spiritual dimension of their sexuality. In all his workshops, what
Seb reinforces continually is that we have magic in our fingertips, how touch can
transform us. He has a wonderful ability to create a safe space where men can
just relax, where judgement is set aside, where one can be at peace with one’s
fellow men, a space where nothing is expected of you other than to enjoy the
experience. I have experienced firsthand the joy of seeing a group of rather
timid and tensely nervous men transformed
into a group that is open, relaxed and loving.
In a world where everything has become rushed, including sex
(such iPhone apps as Grindr surely emphasise the need for the quick fix), don’t
we owe it to ourselves to take a little time out of our week to allow ourselves
to feel really good?
Here are some useful links
